The Obsessive Nature of Hatake Kakashi
by StylishKidatTheRiot
Summary: After Sasuke burns his precious Ichi Ichi books, Kakashi looks for a substitute and ends up getting addicted to phone sex lines instead. It’s a good thing Sasuke’s there to sort him out, even if his methods aren’t exactly conventional. Kaka/Sasu


**The Obsessive Nature of Hayate Kakashi**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of these characters. I am simply a pervert who likes to appease my mind by writing dirty stories about them. I'm not making a penny from this, and Sasuke is being written in at the legal age for this sort of thing.

**Summary**: After Sasuke burns his precious Ichi Ichi books, Kakashi looks for a substitute and ends up getting addicted to phone sex lines instead. It's a good thing Sasuke's there to sort him out, even if his methods aren't exactly conventional.

**A/N**: Story inspired by The Ricki Lake Show. Daytime TV rules:D

After returning home tired from a hard day at work, Kakashi used to look forward to three things in no particular order. Dinner, fucking Sasuke into the ground, and of course reading his beloved porn novels. Those books were his pride and joy and he'd sit eagerly by the post box, waiting impatiently for the next edition to be posted out to him. He would tear the paper off his newly acquired prize like an over-excited child at Christmas the second it came through the letterbox.

New editions were printed annually, and the delivery of the next volume was the highlight of Kakashi's year. In fact, he'd mark the delivery date on his calendar and clear the day completely so that he could spend it reading in peace. He had collected every issue over a long period of time and had never missed a single release date. Sasuke, his long term boyfriend on the other hand, was much less enthusiastic about the books. Especially now because he felt the porn novels were starting to take over Kakashi's life, and fucking him into the ground was becoming less and less of a priority.

So it started as a normal day. Kakashi woke up, had breakfast, read a quick chapter of one of his beloved novels, only to realise that he didn't have time for a quick shag with his boyfriend, before getting dressed and heading off to work. He used to sleep with the boy every morning before he left, but these days getting to work on time was becoming more important. He returned home at his usual time, put on dinner and waited for Sasuke to get back from therapy.

Years after his brother killed their parents and their entire clan, leaving only him alive to avenge the death of the family, Sasuke still hadn't properly 'adjusted' to normal life. Simply mentioning his brother's name was enough to spark off a violent reaction where he would often try to tear down the walls of the house, the whole time screaming at the top of his lungs. After Sasuke had spazzed out more than once in public, he was forced to go and see a therapist three times a week. He didn't particularly like seeing his therapist as he was convinced there was nothing wrong with him.

Whilst dinner was cooking, Kakashi decided to fill in the time by reading another chapter of his beloved Ichi Ichi novels. He had read them all so many times over, he practically had them memorised, but he still couldn't put them down. He shuddered with excitement as he remembered there were only eight more months of waiting until the next volume comes out. The exciting plot lines, the detailed characterisation, the realistic, and often dramatic accounts of the character's lustful relations, and the of course graphic smut had captured his imagination and wouldn't let go. He was about to open up the cupboard in the living room where he kept them, each cover protected by a clear plastic case and arranged neatly on a book shelf in the exact order of their release, when he suddenly smelt something burning.

"Shit! The dinner!" he exclaimed, darting back into the kitchen. He stopped abruptly when he remembered that he had only just put the dinner in the oven, there was still another thirty minutes of cooking left. It couldn't be burning, and besides, there was no smoke in the kitchen.

"Strange," he thought to himself scratching his head. "Where is that smell coming from?"

His curiosity brought him to the window looking right into the front garden of his house. The colour drained from his face and his eyes burst open wide with shock when he discovered where the smell of smoke was actually coming from. Sasuke was standing beside a rather large bonfire with an armful of his precious porn novels, tossing them one by one into the flames.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Kakashi screamed as he threw open the window, almost smashing it, and awkwardly climbed outside. A combination of adrenaline and fear making him move faster than he ever thought was possible. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING SASUKE?" He cried as he ran towards the boy.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sasuke replied in a matter of fact sort of tone, as if what he was doing was perfectly normal. "I'm getting rid of your stupid pervert books."

Kakashi felt tears swell up in his eyes as he watched his precious books, which were almost like children to him, becoming engulfed by flames. He had to stop himself from sticking his arm into the fire to pull out what was left of them, but they were burning fast. Kakashi felt anger filling up deep within him, from the pit of his stomach to the tip of his head, causing his cheeks to glow red.

"SASUKE! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Why the hell did you do that?" he fumed, struggling to prevent himself from grabbing the boy by his scrawny neck and tossing him into the flames to burn amongst the remains of his beloved novels.

"BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME!" Sasuke yelled in response. "YOU WOULD RATHER SIT AND READ THEM THAN FUCK ME INTO THE GROUND!"

"That's not true!" the older man shouted. "I only read them to fill the time when you're not around for me to fuck. A man has _needs_ you know!"

"Oh yeah? How many times have we had sex this week then Kakashi? How many times have you told me to stop kissing your neck because you were reading?"

"We've had sex loads of times this week… um… yeah, loads of times…"

"You call three times this week a load of times? And twice you called me the name of the main character from your stupid pervert books!" the boy hissed as he pointed his finger at the face of his older lover. "YOU LOVE THEM MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME!"

By this point nearly all of the neighbours had gathered and were staring, enjoying the drama that was going on outside Kakashi's house.

"Sasuke, put out this fire and stop causing a scene," Kakashi whispered, his face starting to glow red from embarrassment rather than anger when he suddenly realised that everyone was watching. "We can finish this off inside…"

"I AM NOT CAUSING A SCENE!" Sasuke yelled at the top of his lungs. "YOU DON'T GIVE ME ENOUGH ATTENTION! YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT READING PORN! YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCK ME ANYMO…"

Kakashi quickly wrapped his arm around the pissed off boy's waist and covered his mouth with his free hand. Sasuke struggled and squirmed, still trying to scream obscenities but the sound was muffled by the other man's hand.

"Um… I'm so sorry… he hasn't taken his medication today," Kakashi tried to fake a smile at the watching neighbours, covering Sasuke's mouth more tightly so that his muffled cries of 'I did so take my medication today' could not be heard by the onlookers. He then dragged the struggling boy inside and shut the door as quickly as he could.

"You bastard! Let go of me!" Sasuke cried, falling to the ground when Kakashi released him from his strong grip. He quickly stood up, dusted himself off, but not before giving the other man one of his death glares.

"Sasuke! I'm sorry if I upset you, but if you have a problem then please tell me rather than taking things into your own, crazy hands," Kakashi hissed, still fighting the urge to wrap his hands around the boy's neck.

"I did tell you! I've told you at least ten times this week now, but you tell me to go away because you're reading! You don't listen to me at all!" the boy angrily folded his arms and stared directly into the other man's eyes. "I'm sick of telling you. I HAD to take things into my own hands. You left me with no choice."

Kakashi sighed heavily. He knew Sasuke was right, he was becoming so absorbed in his books that sex with the boy had gone from three times a day to three times a week. He knew he needed to break the habit, and in a strange way he should be grateful that Sasuke destroyed his books. He loved the boy more than anything, and the thought of loosing him wasn't worth thinking about. If he didn't break his habit then he could loose the boy forever.

"I'm sorry Sasuke, I'm really sorry," he sighed and pulled the boy in for a hug, Sasuke responded by wrapping his arms around the other man and tucking his head into his chest. "I promise I'll give you more attention from now on, just please don't make a scene like that in front of the neighbours again."

"I'm not making any promises," Sasuke sulked and folded his arms after he let go of Kakashi.

The older man grimaced. Sasuke could be the most stubborn person on earth sometimes, and there was no point in trying to force him to do something because it just made him more determined _not_ to do it.

"I don't know how the hell I'm going to fill the time between getting home from work and waiting for you to come back from therapy," Kakashi sighed. "Speaking of which, shouldn't be with your therapist now instead of burning my prized pocessions?"

"I thought I'd give her a day off," Sasuke shrugged. "Besides I don't need therapy. If you want to fill your time you could do something normal people do, like watching Ricki Lake, maybe starting up a stamp collection, talking to your friends over the phone, taking your many dogs out for a walk… see! There are four ideas in less than ten seconds, so you have no excuse."

"Ok, ok, fine! You win! Now go outside and put out that fire while I finish making dinner," the older man groaned as he walked away from his stubborn, temperamental and sometimes very irritating young lover. Heading towards the kitchen, he desperately tried to block out the happenings of the last few minutes from his mind, but they were burned in deep and probably forever.

…………………………………………………………………………….

2 weeks later…

"Hi Iruka, it's me," Kakashi sighed as his friend picked up the phone. "Wanna talk about your day or something?"

"What the hell? Why are you calling me again? You never used to call me before."

"I'm bored. I'm waiting for Sasuke to come home from therapy."

"You're bored? Why don't you just read those books you like? That's what you usually do when you're bored, not call me," Iruka exclaimed, surprised by the sudden change in his friend's attitude.

"Yeah, about that… I don't have the books anymore. Sasuke might have, sort of, set them alight. I already explained it to you."

"Ok… why don't you watch TV or something?"

"There's nothing on. Daytime TV sucks," Kakashi sighed again without changing the tone of his voice.

"Well Kakashi, I've had a boring day therefore I don't have much to talk about, so get a pen and write down this number I'm about to call out. I think you'll like what you'll find at the end of the line," Iruka sniggered as he dug out a leaflet that had been posted through his door the previous week. He hadn't called the number before, but giving it to Kakashi would be a funny joke. Plus, he was getting really sick of Kakashi calling him up nearly everyday and forcing him to listen to two hours of meaningless crap, simply because he was bored! This would be great revenge!

"Ok, I've got the number written down, but just exactly who is going to be at the other end?" Kakashi asked, both puzzled and ever so curious.

"It will be a surprise!" Iruka grinned and quickly hung up the phone.

"A surprise, eh?" Kakashi thought to himself and right now he was so bored he was willing to try anything. The fact that it was a premium rate number didn't put him off either. Slowly he dialed the number and waited as it rang a few times before a man with a deep voice answered.

"Hello, this is Randy Hornyton, how may I service you today? Just tell me your deepest, darkest fantasy and we can play it out over the phone."

"What?" Kakashi gasped in shock, this wasn't exactly the surprise he had in mind, but he might as well go along with it… after all it was something to do.

"Tell me your deepest, darkest fantasy and we can act it out," the deep voice purred, trying to sound as seductive as possible.

Meanwhile Sasuke had entered the front garden of the house, scowling from his therapy session. "I don't fucking need therapy!" he hissed to himself. "All I did was destroy one stupid memorial garden after Naruto mentioned Itachi's name in front of me, and here I am being forced to endure a life time of therapy! Kakashi is the one who needs therapy! Not me! I'm not the one addicted to porn novels."

His scowl deepened as he burst through the front door, hurling his coat and bag to the ground.

"This is so fucking stupid!" he yelled. "I have to sit through two hours of talking about my feelings with some woman who analyses everything I say! It's such a joke! And to make things worse, apparently she wants to make me attend GROUP therapy on top of my private therapy twice a week with a bunch of insane losers, because she says it will help! The only thing it will help with is the speed in which I actually go insane because of all this crap! It's just so stupi…"

"Shhhhh! Sasuke! I'm on the phone," Kakashi cried, disrupting the boy's rant.

"What?" the boy raised an eyebrow and looked directly at the other man. "Since when do you have conversations with people over the phone?"

"Since you suggested that I needed to find something else to pre-occupy my time when you're at therapy," Kakashi sighed.

"Huh?" Sasuke gave the older man a strange look, "Yeah… I guess I did."

…………………………………………………………………………………

Another 2 weeks later…

"Nice of you to finally come and join me in the bedroom," Sasuke hissed as Kakashi entered the room.

"Oh shit! I forgot you were up…" the older man quickly silenced himself, but it was too late. He'd said the worst possible thing to Sasuke and now it was probably going to set the already irritated boy off on a rant.

"What do you mean you forgot? How could you forget? I've been sitting up here naked and horny for the past two hours, waiting for you to carry out your boyfriendly duties, and you FORGET about me!" Sasuke fumed. "What were you doing down there? Surely you weren't on that phone for the ENTIRE time? Where you?"

"Um…"

"You were, I knew it! Who have you talking to this past fortnight that is apparently more important than fucking me senseless?"

"Just discussing work with Iruka, nothing important," Kakashi smiled, leaning over and pressing his lips against those of his young lover in order to shut him up, and more importantly prevent him from prying any further. If he found out about the whole sex line thing there would be trouble, big trouble. Kakashi knew he had to get this month's phone bill before Sasuke got his hands on it, and discovered the hours he's spent obsessively calling the premium rate number recently.

Sasuke angrily pushed him away.

"Maybe I'm not in the mood anymore. Maybe you left me up here too long and maybe I want nothing to do with you at this exact moment in time," the boy yelled. "This is just like when you had those stupid pervert books! So much for your promise of giving me more attention!"

"But I'm giving you attention now," Kakashi smiled as he slowly began to kiss Sasuke's neck, carefully stimulating the sensitive skin with his lips and tongue. It was enough to make the boy purr like a kitten every time… except this time.

"Get off me!" Sasuke yelled and pushed Kakashi off him once again. "I said I wasn't in the mood anymore, I'm too pissed off at you!" He folded his arms and broke away from the older man's gaze.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry," Kakashi sighed. "It won't happen ever again. Please forgive me."

"I'll think about it," the boy sulked.

"Come on Sasuke, I'm sorry. Please let me make it up to you."

"Fine, I suppose so but I'm still pissed off, so this better be the best damn sex of my life."

Kakashi smiled and pushed his young lover back down onto the bed, wondering in the back of his mind what Randy Hornyton would be like in the bedroom. From the way the guy spoke over the phone, it seemed like he'd be up for anything… absolutely ANYTHING. He tried to imagine what Randy looked like in real life as he described himself as having the body of a pro-wrestler, an entirely different universe from Sasuke's small, slender and almost feminine frame. 'Mmm I wonder what it would be like with a pro-wrestler? I can't imagine that I'd get to be on top, and I don't quite fancy being on the bottom,' Kakashi thought to himself. 'But I guess it would be interesting being dominated and stuff.'

"Kakashi! Kakashi! KAKASHI!" Sasuke cried, breaking the older man's train of thought.

"Huh? What?"

"Are you even listening to me?" the irate boy shouted. "I said 'where did you put the lubricant?' If you think you're entering me without it, then you're sadly mistaken!"

"Oh, it's in the drawer," Kakashi replied, trying to block thoughts of Randy Hornyton from his mind. He needed to focus on Sasuke and he knew it wasn't fair to treat the boy like this. After all, it's not like Sasuke couldn't find anyone else. The stunning boy had people queuing up from all around Konaha who wanted him. He was also such a stubborn little thing that if he dumped the older man, then there would be zero chance of winning him back. Although Sasuke was a tad unpredictable and not the most stable person on the planet, he loved the boy with every inch of his heart and couldn't bear to lose him. He knew he needed to stop with all this phone sex crap before Sasuke found out.

"Good," Sasuke smiled and pressed his lips against those of his older lover, Kakashi responding by opening his mouth and allowing their tongues to meet, both fighting for dominance, making the kiss hungry, needy. He felt Sasuke's hand pulling at the belt on his trousers, releasing them and allowing them to fall down his legs, which he kicked away with his underpants. Sasuke was getting good at releasing the buckle of his belt quickly, without needing to look at it. Conveniently enough the boy was already naked, and thankfully no longer overtly pissed off. Well maybe still a little annoyed, but he'd settle down soon enough.

The older man broke the hungry kiss momentarily as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it across the room, his heart starting to beat rapidly against his chest in suspense of what was to come. He started to kiss the boy's neck again, carefully nipping and licking the pale, delicate skin, this time extracting the purring sound from Sasuke that he loved to hear.

Sasuke tilted his head back in order to expose more of his neck to the older man, enjoying the tingling sensation emulating from Kakashi's mouth pressing against his skin. Wanting to take control, the Uchiha pulled away from the touch, and pushed the older man backwards so that he could be on top.

Kakashi moaned and his heart raced even faster as Sasuke's warm mouth traced a line from his jaw line, down his chest, taking the time to run his tongue over the other man's erect nipples, extracting more moans of pleasure. He dug his nails into the bed sheets as he felt the boy moving closer and closer to where he wanted his mouth to be.

Sasuke looked up at him, flashed him a mischievous smile before taking a long lick of his partially erect length. The older man moaned more loudly as Sasuke played about with the sensitive tip. He knew the boy was teasing him a bit; he liked to do this before taking him fully into his mouth. It was starting to get unbearable for Kakashi, but after he was finished with his games, Sasuke took him fully into his mouth. A wave of pleasure engulfed his body, he had to cry out, he needed to.

"AHHHH, YEAH…. RANDY HORNYTON…"

"Shit!" Kakashi thought to himself, suddenly turning rather pale. That just slipped out. He wasn't even thinking about the phone sex operator, but his name somehow managed to slip out of his mouth. Maybe Sasuke wouldn't notice, maybe he was to absorbed with what he was doing… no such luck. So much for trying to give up the sex lines and keeping it a secret from Sasuke until he managed to quit.

He dared look at his young lover, who had immediately come off his erection and was looking back with the most confused look Kakashi had ever seen on his face.

"What the hell did you just call me?" the boy asked, his left eye twitching slightly.

"What? Oh nothing, you must be hearing things," Kakashi grinned, but his cheeks had flushed bright red, giving away his guilt. How could he have been so stupid, and why did Sasuke have to find out about his newest addiction like this?

"I think even the neighbours heard you shouting 'Randy Hornyton', so I'm not hearing things. Who is Randy Hornyton?" Sasuke asked, folding his arms and somehow managing to remain calm.

"He's… he's…"

"Tell me the truth. Are you secretly reading those porn books again and is he a new character or something?"

"No, even if I wanted to get my Ichi Ichi books back again, I can't. They are all limited edition…"

"Ok, good… now WHO THE FUCK IS RANDY HORNYTON?" Sasuke yelled, what was left of his small amount of patience slipping away rather rapidly.

"He's… ok, I won't lie to you Sasuke," Kakashi sighed. "I don't want to dig myself any deeper into this mess. He's… um… kind of a sex line operator, but it's not cheating! I've NEVER meet up with him, I just talk to him over the phone sometimes."

"A phone sex operator?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "THAT IS FUCKING DISGUSTING KAKASHI! AND HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ISN'T CHEATING? HE TALKS TO YOU ALL DIRTY AND YOU GET OFF ON IT! HE MIGHT AS WELL BE GIVING YOU A HAND JOB YOU FILTHY PEVERT!"

"Well you're not so perfect either Sasuke! Sometimes I think you just use me for a free place to live and a free source of food because you don't have a house!" Kakashi cried. His heart nearly stopped after he said those words, they just slipped out, but it was too late now, he'd said them.

"Don't try to change the subject you pervert!" the boy yelled in response. "And I do have a house, you know that! But it's damp, the heating doesn't work and it's infested with cockroaches! YOU'RE the one who suggested that I should live here with you! You have never said anything about it until now." The boy's eyes started to fill with tears.

"Well get a fucking job and help me with the rent then if you don't want to go back there!" Kakashi cried. He didn't want to say any of these things to Sasuke, but words were just slipping out beyond his control. He was taking his anger out on the boy and he knew he shouldn't, Sasuke hadn't done anything wrong, but he'd gone too far now. He hadn't wanted Sasuke to find out about his phone sex addiction, and he was so angry at himself for letting it slip out during oral sex of all times! If he was going to break it to the boy, then he wanted it to be in a nice calm, controlled setting. Not here, and definitely not now.

"FINE! I'll get a job!" Sasuke shouted, before pointing at the older man's still erect penis, "And you can finish that off by yourself. I'm out of here!"

With that the young Uchiha grabbed his clothes, stormed out of the room and slammed the door, almost knocking it from his hinges.

……………………………………………………………………………………

The next day….

"I'm so sorry Sasuke, I'm so, so sorry. I was angry and I took it out on you and I shouldn't have," Kakashi pleaded, following Sasuke around the living room of the house. "I shouldn't have said those things to you, I didn't mean them and I love having you living here with me."

"I'm going to work," Sasuke stated in matter of fact tone as he picked up his coat. "So I'd appreciate it if you didn't follow me around like that."

"What? You're going to work?" Kakashi's jaw nearly hit the ground.

"Yes. I phoned around a few people last night and I got myself a job. Get out of my way or else I'm going to be late," the boy hissed, barging past the older man, almost knocking him over.

"Where are you working?"

"That's none of your business," the Uchiha snapped before he rapidly flew out of the house and slammed the door in Kakashi's face who was still trying to follow him.

"What the…" Kakashi sighed, his face filling with the same look of confusion and shock Sasuke had displayed the previous night. "Strange boy."

It was Kakashi's day off work, so he flopped down in front of the television in a desperate attempt to find something to occupy himself. As he flicked through the channels, he could feel the lure of the telephone trying to drag him across the room towards it, like he was caught in a magnetic field of doom.

"No, must resist!" he spoke out loud to himself. "I have to give this up or else I'll loose Sasuke. That is if I haven't already lost him."

He sighed deeply to himself, how could he have been so fucking stupid? Sasuke will never forgive him for this. He tried once again to concentrate on the television, but the shadow of the phone could be seen from the corner of his eye. It was beckoning him, almost begging him to pick it up and call the premium rate number.

"OK!" Kakashi yelled. "I will phone Randy Hornyton up one last time and tell him I'm quitting and this will be the last ever time I speak to him!"

Picking up the phone, he slowly dialed the number, half expecting Sasuke to burst in through the door and yell 'AHA! I caught you! This relationship is over!' He needed closure though, and the realisation that he could actually loose his long term boyfriend over this made him understand that he had been treating Sasuke so unfairly, neglecting him and now he was going to pay the price if he didn't stop this stupid addiction now! Sasuke is far more important than this stupid phone sex operator and it was time to tell them that!

The phone rang a few times before someone picked it up.

"Hello, how can I service you today? Just tell me your deepest, darkest fantasy and we can play it out over the phone," a familiar voice sounded from the other end of the line.

Kakashi's blood ran cold; the colour drained from his face and his heart nearly came up through his mouth from shock.

"Sasuke…?"

"Hello Kakashi. Randy Hornyton isn't here; I've taken over most of his shifts even though it's my first day. I'm so good that I'm already the most popular boy on here. I think I've truly found my calling in life. What do you think?"

"What are you doing Sasuke?" Kakashi gulped, almost choking and still very much in disbelief. Was he dreaming? Maybe he fell asleep in front of the television. No, he was definitely awake… unfortunately.

"I'm doing my job so that I can help you with the rent, and I strongly suggest you start talking to me dirty right now because I have other perverts on different lines wanting to get through to me, and Orochimaru is going to pay me double. If I keep him on the line for over an hour, then I win an iPod." Sasuke purred. "So how can I service you today?"

"You can service me by quitting and getting your little ass back home!" the older man cried, still in shock from his revelation.

"No can do Kakashi, you told me to get a job and I'm getting paid a lot for this. All I have to do is let some perverts talk dirty to me, pretend I care, pretend I'm turned on and I get showered with cash. As you said it's not cheating," Sasuke smiled to himself, enjoying Kakashi's discomfort. "I quite like this job and I don't want to quit. So as long as you keep ringing up these places, then I can work in one. Seems fair to me."

"Sasuke this is crazy! Get home now before I find you and drag you home!"

"Oh! I just thought I should let you know. Randy Hornyton isn't a professional body builder or a wrestler, he's a 5ft 2 plumber from the Sand district, and Chad Porkhammer wants to thank you for staying on the line with him for over an hour last week. He really loves his new iPod."

"SASUKE!" Kakashi felt his blood starting to boil.

"I'm still not sure which name I should go with, maybe you could help me decide? I'm torn between Sasuke Meatbaton and Fucksaplenty McWhore Uchiha… Naruto came up with that one."

"SASUKE! Stop this now and get back home, please!" Kakashi cried.

"I'll make a deal with you Kakashi," Sasuke stated, his mocking tone replaced with a more serious one. "It really hurts me when you get addicted to stupid things like porn novels or phone sex lines or whatever. It makes me feel kind of… unwanted and not worth your time. I'm willing to give you one more chance because I really love you and I want things to go back to how they used to be, when I was your pride and joy, not your stupid novels or whatever else you happened to care more about at the time."

"Things will go back to how they used to be," Kakashi sighed. "From now on I'll give you my full attention and treat you better. I know I've said it so many times in the past, but I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt like that. I was just being selfish, only thinking about myself and not caring enough about how these things were affecting you. Will you quit this horrible job and come back home? Please Sasuke."

"Of course, I never actually planned on staying! It's disgusting! Orochimaru calls up like fifteen times a day, and earlier he wanted to pretend I was a school boy and that he was spanking me! I had to act like I was being spanked AND being turned on by it at the same time. It was so degrading!" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I only took this job to each you a lesson. Well, I'm off to quit now. I'll see you in about an hour or so."

"Ok, see you soon," the older man grinned. "I love you, oh, and one more thing… ITACHI!"

"WHAT! WHERE? I'll KILL HI…"

Kakashi laughed to himself and hung up the phone. On hearing his brother's name mentioned, Sasuke would probably tear the place apart now. It was important to take such precautions just to make sure that they would ban Sasuke and never allow him back near that place again without calling the police. There was no way his boyfriend would ever work as a sex phone operator again, even if it was only for a day, and to teach him a valuable lesson. There was no arguing that Sasuke's methods were a little, well, unconventional, but Kakashi had truly learned his lesson once and for all. Sasuke was more important than any stupid little hobby, and he swore then and there never to let something stupid like that come between him and his lover again.

Still, there was the problem of how to occupy himself when Sasuke was away at therapy. There had to be something, somewhere in the house that he could do. Rummaging about in a cupboard, he discovered a dusty old album which had been left by the previous resident of the house, an item which he completely forgot existed. He blew away the dust from the cover and opened it up to reveal page after page of colourful stamps, even some super rare ones with the first Hokage's face on them.

"Stamp collecting…" A light bulb suddenly lit inside Kakashi's head. "Perfect! I could get _really_ into this."

**The End**

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed my first fic inspired by daytime TV, I have far too much time on my hands at the minute. I need a job.

Please review! I'm eating them, and you wouldn't want me to starve, would you? I always greatly appreciate your comments and feedback :D

StylishKidatTheRiotxx


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